future?

two more days to go and i will finish my paper.. la st paper is PD, perdagangan.. this thursday.. omg.. when i ask azrain he was like said that "woooooo!! senangggggg!!' n then my parents knew it.. that he said it was damn easy.. down to earth.. i felt like my heart stop for a while.. i knew i didn't put enough effort in my studies.. i'm the one who always do and regret.. i'm the lazy ass type.. what else can i think beside spm? the only thing is spm. spm i what could i think of.. sorry mom dad.. n to my aunties.. sorry to make y'all disappointed.. i can't blame other people coz the had done so hard in their spm.. well, congrats then.. when i think about it carefully.. i'm just a weakling.. why can't i score? easy.. it's bcoz i'm a lazy bones.. lazy ass.. lazy bitch.. well, that's the only way i can describe myself.. sorry mum, dad,, it's all my fault.. sorry to burden y'all.. i'm just a no-good-daughter... i'm just a hopeless teenager who is still dangling on a thin line.. it's my fault.. it's too late to go back now.. we can only just move forward.. when i think about it, i think BM BI SEJ well.. ok.. but mod math.. i'm not very good at maths subject.. add math maybe ok.. RC well,, hard to describe.. phy, chem.. hard duh... next PD--Punk Dead subject.. never study at it.. see? how lazy i am.. i'm just plain stupid.. i just,, uh.. please.. just make me happier the last time. dear God, Allah, please,, it is only You who could make me happier.. don't ask about pray... i skip a lot.. i'm very sinful towards u.. i have done uncountable sins.. nobody knows it.. i suck.. if people can see through my soul, maybe they thought that i'm the wicked girl. the most! omg.. i'm so unhappy today, after all i heard.. although spm had finished, i'm still worried to wait for my result.. pleasee.. let me score more than 2A.. at least,, :-(