HOME

this day,,, it's sunday, but.. i kept on feeling sad. (i'm not being emo ok?) i feel so lonely... promises.. just broke like that.. people, blaming each other.. why? my cousin, my nieces, nephew.. they r lucky.. they have a lovable n caring grandfather, n also, their parents spend time with them. what about me? i know my parents.. but they r very busy.. they don't have time for family or me or my younger lil brother.. it's better if i'm far from here.. meet my friends.. but now.. not anymore.. home is not a suitable place for me.. a place called HOME is just for me to sleep and online.. HOme should be a place where u felt that u r safe.. but not me. HOME is a place where people blamed u.. i felt like things have changed nowadays.. many things.. it's not like THEM anymore.,.. truth is i'm shocked. yea.. i know people can change whenever they want.. but, this isn't the kind of change that i want.. truth is, i'm jealous with my cousins.. they have love, and care.. me? no, not really.. in this beautiful world, the humans are filled with jealousy.. anger.. tears and sadness and also a "dark heart" lastly.. i wish that i'm not here.. i wish the schools start earlier than this.. my house is full of chaos.. its like things are not right anymore.. why? why now? i wish i can go back to the past.. why now? what is the main cause? yes, that's right... i should pray.. pray.. and kept on praying although i'm not that "alim" enough.. i wish i have my own house so that i can get out from this life.. luxurious?? it doesn't mean anything.. it's shit.. staying at home is more pressuring than being at school.. i feel like i wanna cry.. but i can't. bcoz this tear felt like it's already dry. and tears can't come out from my eyes anymore...