not a big secret but i can't keep it anymore

ohhhh-emmm-geeeeeeeeee!!! my weight is already 73kg.. WTF?? okay. i admit i'm on diet for 7 days now and i had lost 6kg.. i didnt eat for 2 days at all.. i ate after that but i only ate veges and warm water only(aek mati) now i'm 66kg's. my target is below 55kg's and under. i'm obsessed with exercising that i really2 cry when i saw my weight was 73kg at first.. i was so very pressure and i don't have confidence in me at all.. i felt that i look like an elephant or pig.. all of my friends are thin and slim. and i'm jealous of that.. i had a secret and i can't keep it anymore.. i pretend that in front of anyone that i eat average(e.g whenever i was with my friends i only think about food that i pretended to eat only a plate of snack plate and soft drinks) actually guys. i dont eat only a plate.. after i come back from home, i eat again.. i only think about food. whenever i'm watching tv's or whatever.. i must bite a snack.. i'm a food craver.. i love to eat so much. that's why i'm like that. i count my calories and i've eaten 3000+ calories per day.. then, i started my diet but my parents doesn't know. if they knew it i'm ssooooo gonna dead.. now. i will only estimate for 200 calories per day. not more than that. i eat only warm water and vege's. no fruit at all. only vege's and hey.. it works on me. then my mum said to me.. ohmagatt.. did u eat? i can't see your chubby stomach anymore? it's flat.. yeah. but my body still isn't very small.. i will diet coz 1)i wanna be beautiful so that i can wear beautiful clothes/dresses 2) i can fit all my pretty old clothes 3)i will be the same with my friend.. slim and thin.. i can't stop exercising and i didn't eat properly.. i kept on weighing myself.. i'm too worried about my weights.. i'm so jealous of slim people.. very2 jealous esp when my lil bro said that i'm too big(he meant that i'm fat) i was so very shocked that it kills me inside.. i will never ever eat oily food.. i just wanna have a healthy diet that's all.. the day after tomorrow. my cousin will invite us to eat at seafood. but please! i dont wanna eat it? how am i supposed to do? should i vomit it? help meee~ i'm soooooooooo very2 depressed that i can't stop my tears! that i cut food till small pieces.. omg~ i can't eat seafood's food