this is just the beginning

My life in poly.. i've never been there n i was like an alien that was just been there. i asked my dad "hey, where the hell are you going? shouldnt it be that poly is near to emart or place that's close to matang there?" n my dad just laugh. he said 'what r u thinking hun? poly is near to tlaga aek, there would be jungle n there's no way u r going to get out there. no DI like in uitm. no shopping mall, just that, depends on your canteen sweetie. awww.. u must familiarize yourself with this new place, u r goin back to your jungle hostel after u studying. n when u want to eat, u can only depends with your canteen. nothing there. just jungle, not more than that." n then i felt like crying, of course, i didnt cry. for real.. i really didnt cry. i used to cry before this but not anymore. my tears just feels numb. it just cant come out anymore. this is the first time i didnt cry for a long time. seriously. im used to it already. my new principle is never ever cry if that thing is actually good for u. maybe God has planned this earlier. yup, when i think about God in the most unhappy times, tears wont come out. i tot that would be just a small matter. its just i have to make myself used to that NEW place. yeah i know UITM is a hundred times better than this. besides its my own fault for not studying hard and lazybones. serve me right. my roommate in poly is a Sabahan girl. very quiet. n she's very shy until the end of this sem. a lot happened in poly. there, i met my new cousin n i called him ell, he's 22. n same course n semester with me. also my coursemate. yup, he's a nice guy. i just known him after went out with him n then we find out that we r cousins. but he's not a muslim. but we r in the same shoes. actually ell is my senior since uitm, senior in civil engineering. if he's still in uitm now, he should be in part 6, last part, almost achieved diploma. luckily i had him as my cousin, we went out almost everyday when there's gap between our class, go for shopping n eat. yupp,. we ate a lot. n there's this fatso guy, he's also my coursemate in uitm n i just knew that he had a crush on me. wat the hell? did i said CRUSH?? eww! i hate that guy. i hate guys who is being toooooo damn nice with me just because he had a crush on me. i was like, no way. theres no wayy i would ever date this guy!! wat the hell?! he's going to make me really angry! he's annoying n he's a rich fat kid. im not interested with all that.. we r not suit with each other. we just dont suit each other. please!! find another girl! not me!! i dont like u!! shitt!! im not interested with u! shitt!! i hate u!! why me!! atrghhhhh!!!! damn u fatso! fatsoooo!! fuck off fatso! just fuck off!