What lies deep inside my heart

To my friends, my school mates n also who i had considered as sisters, thanks guys for supporting me all this while especially Mar.. i've met u since form 2 n there, we grew our clan, hahaha... sounds funny, i know right.. hahahaha.. cant stop laughing.. during our immatured times.. i still remember bout it. how reckless we r. but now that i've think about it carefully. it has been planned by God... n now here we r.. struggling to be a better person.. insyaAllah.. im sorry, i just dont know how to describe it in my own word.. if i could just picture it wouldnt it be easier? somehow.. im not a good talker.. when i dont know what should i talk.. i'll be standing quietly without saying a word.. sometimes its hard for me to speak or to talk. it is in my head, but i dont know how to let it all out. well, i did opened my cousin's fb, lets just call him Rain. n there, i saw my ex coursemate in uitm worried bout their sem 2 results. n all their parents comment in fb. talk about parents. how i wish my parents would pray for me. pray 5 times a day.. my mom is not that religious neither my dad.. how i feel its better if i could just opened my mouth n said it out loud 'MOM! I WANT U TO LEARN MORE BOUT ISLAM N DAD! U AS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY! PLEASE LEAD OUR PRAYER! U AS THE HEAD OF FAMILY! FORCE MOM TO LEARN MORE BOUT ISLAM! NOT LEARN ALL AT ONCE.. SLOWLY! PLEASE I BEG U! I LOVE MY PARENTS N I DONT WANT THEM TO BE DRAG IN HELL! because they r my own flesh n blood how cn i hate them? i dont hate them.. i loved them. thats why, im trying my best to bring them more inside the beauty of islam :') if they r like tht it was just as if my dream came true.. this time i really cried typing this post after i didnt cry for a long time. haha.. yup n it felt good somehow. its not bcoz of self pity fuck all that. i nvr pitied my self. i just pitied my parents, especially my dad as the head of family, if his family doesnt remember God or pray to God he will be carrying our sins. n thats why. i have to lead him to the right path.. insyaAllah