Feels Like Writing Somehow (im sorry if it is bad writing)

Well, phew.. so many years have passed now and i began to write again. It's just my writings & english feels off lately (blame it to my laziness on reading english material tho). Hye blogger(s) lol. i think there's just one people that can only read this tho. For me, i think it's good to write where there's only people who knows you reading it. But, before that, im gonna start with first of all im sorry if i ever hurt you, pls forgive me. To be honest, im takin quite the Annual Leave that ive had now. After MCO i was like cravin to take leave again & again and so sorry my dear colleagues that u've gotta deal with my shit in the office. Feels like my heart doesnt belong there anymore. But then, actually i dont have a reason why im feeling a bit off lately. Like desperately taking leaves. It feels like im missing my bed too much and the people in the house. I dont feel like working, doing anything. Basically, just daydreamin nothing and staring at the blank space plus watching netflix. (GOSH, im so sorry). Maybe im sick of it. For years doin the same thing in the job and having exams on taking those competencies.Probably. Then it hit me. My parents, aunties that lives with me aint getting younger. They're gettin older. I seriously cant imagine what is going to happen to my emotion when they're gone coz i rely too much on them. Plus im expanding my circles' every day. I mean without me realizing it, it's getting bigger. Nothing's wrong with it. Somehow that kinda steals your mind not to wander to the consequences in your mind. Feels like i tires out my mind just thinkin nothing. Well, it's nice to have friends although there is this something that you dont wanna share with them(problems, opinions, etcs). Coz i know peoples' personalities varies. I can't be selfish plus im 28 now. No more fairytales. Somehow you just dont wanna burden peoples' mind with your problem that only you yourself cant even describe. Hey, every peoples' got their own problems. Movin forward, i spent my own times sometimes like rejecting friends' invitation to chill, goin out lately. coz sometimes i just wanna chill with me, myself at the spa, shopping, eating, coffees, reading articles based my interest etc etc etc.. and again, im so sorry when i seems like avoiding too much.